its been two days since i saw the announcement of atsushi sakurai's death. i dont even know how to fully express the amount of grief and sadness ive been feeling for the past few days, its just... so much to handle. even now, im crying as i type this out. buck-tick means so much to me, and it feels like a part of my world was ripped away. but im glad. im glad i got to live in the same time as buck-tick, as atsushi. even if ive only been a fan for a little over a year now, their music has changed me so much. im forever grateful for the fact they existed at all. i will always love them. im keeping everyone affected by this in my thoughts, especially the other members and his family.

atsushi was truly an amazing person. he was an extremely talented, kind, beautiful and iconic individual, and his influence on the visual kei scene and japanese pop culture is incredible. his lyrics and his voice are both so incredibly powerful. he was so strong, dealing with so many hardships in his life and still being able to bring joy to all of the fans and be succesful. his beauty is something that will never be matched, he was truly beautiful both inside and out. he kept doing what he loved, to perform, right up until the very end, which is just amazing. he was truly an angel on earth.

for acchan;
i love you so, so much. your art changed my life. though it wasnt that long ago, i cant even imagine my life before i discovered you and buck-tick. i hope that youre resting peacefully now. just know that you will never be forgotten, not with the amount of people youve brought joy to over the past 36 years. we will always love you and miss you.

if youve never listened to buck-tick before, please do. their music is amazing and beautiful and raw and so many other wonderful things. i promise you will not regret it. even if its only a few of their popular songs. todays song of the day is a special one. its the last song atsushi sung before he passed, the third song into their last concert before he was taken to the hospital. please give it a listen, its very good.